'Heart song'* - on Desire and Trust
The journey between Mind and Heart is liminality at its purest. It's the choppy waters of the sea crossing between the mind's patterns and trusting your heart's desires.
(*My use of ‘heart song’ here is inspired by a book I recently read by S.E. Wendel, titled, you guessed it, Heartsong. In her book, the idea is about being stirred awake from a stone slumber of over a millennium by one's soulmate. It’s a poetic concept that we can use to connect to what makes our heart sing and stir awake the parts that have been frozen or lost to a long and unconscious sleep.)
A phrase that has come up again and again for me is uncharted waters. Back in 2020, everything was unprecedented, but now I see the image of a boat being carried by choppy waves in uncharted waters. Many are speaking of cognitive dissonance between a sense of global chaos and our need to conduct daily life as if nothing is happening.
Plus, the image of uncharted waters makes me think that we're no longer on our known shores but cast away and at the mercy of the liminal gods. Much more like Odysseus than we'd like to admit, our Ithaca feels very far away now.
Feeling adrift during liminal times is part of the journey and perhaps the one that causes us more anxiety. Yes, we may fear the unknown, but as long as we have a sense of direction, it's manageable. But adrift is a lot scarier because it calls for a surrender to the currents.
I'm not sure about you, but just that image makes my heart skip a beat.
Our culture loves a goal, a productive project, and, more importantly, knowing our purpose and where we're headed. That may be why Odysseus' journey remains so compelling. Although hampered for a decade, he kept going, driven by the goal of returning home.
But what if you don't know, at least at this moment, what your "Ithaca" is? (Odysseus' kingdom in the myth, in case you didn't know.)
This is when we turn to the Trojan Horse question - What do I want?
A question that seems innocuous in its simplicity but hides challenging layers that need to be peeled back.
The onion of desire and trust.
I've been thinking about liminality a lot - for years, I see it as both a landscape and an unfolding process. We may have the map, like when we're on a hiking trail, but it's a whole different ball game when you're actually in the place. The landscape interacts with us because it's the embodied experience of the journey, while the map only gives us broad brushstrokes. Liminality is the embodied form, where both emotion and physical reality interact in what starts with a theoretical map. It's a gaping maw that spans the distance from viewing the itinerary map to actually being in the landscape.
We may focus a lot on the beginning of the journey and the arrival at its conclusion, but bringing folks to the therapy and coaching rooms is the 'adrift' part of this crossing. The adrift part is where we let go of the old path, directions, and ideas of want, and we mourn what was. It's the emptying out of old identity, mindset, and the jagged pill of old loyalties.
Adrift is also about the journey from mind to heart. The wrestling dance of our ‘heart song’ trying to make itself heard in the clash of our mind’s rules and our heart’s knowing.
I'm taking ‘heart song’* here to mean the ability to hear the guidance of our inner voice and stay aligned with what we truly want, not what we should want. Not the want of cultural forces, of keeping up with the Joneses, or of our misplaced loyalties to family and clan, because of our need for safety and community.
I'm not saying that loyalty to family and clan is all bad and unnecessary, but the dance between our need for individuating and being in community is complex and not easily boxed. Loyalty is a cornerstone value, but unexamined, it can become a thinking trap.
Listening to our ‘heart song’ is not a one-and-done.
It has several iterations, phases, and expressions throughout our lives. As we grow, deepen, expand, and can let go of what no longer fits, we reexamine our ‘heart song.’ We put aside the mind's plan for our security and safety and turn towards our heart, towards our desire.
The adrift part of the liminal journey is where the chaos of not knowing shakes off the grip of the mind, loosening the white knuckling grip of old thoughts and ideas (holding on for dear life) so that we can listen to the growing voice of our heart's desires. This is SO uncomfortable, and we love to avoid it with a thousand distractions and knee-jerk decisions to get a grip on our rising anxiety. The mind is a great illusionist.
Where does trust come in?
Trust is two-fold - trust in the Universe, God(s), something bigger and higher than ourselves, as well as trust in ourselves.
Can we do it?
Do I have what it takes?
Will I betray myself?
Can I remain loyal to my desires and heart even when the going gets tough?
Trust deals in the subtle spaces of the unseen and the unknown.
It doesn't offer easy securities. It may feel rock-solid at times, but it's always in motion, observant of subtle shifts in each interaction along the way.
Trust is the thread between the seen in our world of form and the unseen realms.
Trust is the umbilical cord that links us to something that is still becoming, forming, and unfurling. That's why we've created agreements, contracts, blood pacts, rituals, and ceremonies to define and give shape to trust.
Trust requires surrender to the process, and the tether that keeps us linked to it is desire. Odysseus faced all his challenges because he desired to return home to Ithaca.
According to etymology.com, desire comes "from the Latin desiderare, 'long for, wish for, demand, expect,' the original sense perhaps being 'await what the stars will bring,' from the phrase de sidere, 'from the stars."
And which star do we wish on when we see it in the sky?
You've guessed it - Venus, the liminal goddess of love, joy, and desire herself.
So, if you're adrift in the liminal sea of life, take note from the ancient sailors and look to the stars for guidance, especially Venus.
What makes your heart sing?
What attracts you?
Don't dismiss small pleasures or whimsical flights of fancy. Those are just a few of the ways that Venus plays with us. Pay attention to the things that you call fluff (or guilty pleasures) because they can help you regain your rudders in this sea crossing.
And if pain and suffering have dulled your ability to trust in what brings joy and pleasure, start small. Our Judeo-Christian capitalist culture has oversold us lack, suffering, and pain as more honorable than joy, contentment, and pleasure. Don't be fooled by this false advertising.
Venus is why Mars gets out of bed!
Our ability to take action is a reflection of the relationship between Venus (the star of our desire) and Mars (our ability to get it up - in more ways than one).
A special note on the tango dance of Saturn and Neptune in early Aries.
Technically, Saturn and Neptune will only consummate their union (i.e., conjunction) in early 2026. But they have been dancing awfully close this year. In exploring this idea of being adrift in a liminal crossing, I think of Neptune as dissolving the old Saturnian patterns that have made us stiff so we can take action (Aries) toward new vistas. It's the start of a new cycle, being that they're in the very early degrees of Aries.
Neptune may be helping us dissolve and release that which doesn't spark the Aries fire in us. In contrast, Saturn in Aries can show us what is blocking our spark.
Saturn shows us what is lacking, much like every fairy tale begins with a lack. The gaping hole of lack, shaped by Saturn, is how many stories start. Tell me what's lacking, and you'll have a hint of what desire will fill it.
Desire can come to us via two doors.
One is by being beckoned by an attraction. The other door is through experiencing lack. The other side of what we're missing and lacking reveals what desire will complete it.
However, don't be fooled into thinking that attuning to our desires is easy. We've had many centuries of encrusted old thinking around desire. That's why the longest journey we'll ever make is the one between mind and heart. It's an iterative and Odyssean journey, laid with thorns and mind-made monsters to challenge us along the way.
As we collectively find ourselves in the midst of a paradigm-shifting liminal journey, we all have the opportunity to look to our Heartsong. When our cultural norms and patterns are being battered and thrown into chaos, it also liberates us from old patterns of behavior.
We may feel drawn by the whirlpool of chaotic forces or the heady waves of creative forces. But most likely, we will swim between both - because no creation comes without breaking some eggs. Liminal times are chaotic and discombobulating but also creatively opportune.
If you're feeling adrift, don't look down. Look up and wish upon a star. Let your Venus stir you.
*PS - This idea of desire and trusting ourselves came from a conversation I recently had with a friend. Thank you, T.!
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Lovely writing! I always enjoy the wisdom you share. Thank you for bringing it to all of us